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Earth Juice John Old Coote
January 9th, 2007, 06:50 AM
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
>>>>> and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
>>>>> watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
>>>>> Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
>>>>> snow!
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
>>>>> covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
>>>>> there
>>>>> be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best
>>>>> idea
>>>>> I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
>>>>> boy
>>>>> again. I did both our driveway and the
sidewalks. This afternoon the
>>>>> snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
>>>>> driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
>>>>> disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
>>>>> have
>>>>> a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll
>>>>> have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
>>>>> snow
>>>>> again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad
>>>>> he's our neighbor.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
>>>>> to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
>>>>> away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
>>>>> the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
>>>>> again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
>>>>> but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff
>>>>> and puff so.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
>>>>> Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
>>>>> freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
>>>>> I
>>>>> think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
>>>>> driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
>>>>> hour, which I think was very cruel.
>>>>>
>>>>> December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
>>>>> anywhere.
>>>>> Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay
>>>>> warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
>>>>> Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God
>>>>> I
>>>>> hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my
>>>>> own living room.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
>>>>> stuff
last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came
>>>>> by
>>>>> twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
>>>>> too
>>>>> busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
>>>>> store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might
>>>>> have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have
>>>>> to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
>>>>> lying.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
>>>>> inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably
>>>>> won't
>>>>> melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out

>>>>> to
>>>>> shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
>>>>> dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
>>>>> plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too
>>>>> busy.
>>>>> I think the asshole is lying.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
>>>>> wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
>>>>> she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says
>>>>> she did but I think she's damn well lying.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that goddamn snowplow.
>>>>>
>>>>> December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
>>>>>
>>>>> December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

>>>>>
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

>>>>>
>>>>> December 28: Warmed up to above -5. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

>>>>>
>>>>> December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does
he think I am?

>>>>>
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a
million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her
mother, nine inches predicted.


December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

>>>>>
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills tthey keep giving me but why am I tied to the bed?

Gibney
January 9th, 2007, 07:20 AM
HA!

Hossenpfeffer

calapooya
January 9th, 2007, 08:03 AM
:lol: Well....I hope you are ready for MORE! Cuz TOMORROW it's COMING!!! lol!

Thanks, bro - for the funny story! :banana:

It really warmed the cockles of my heart ( after the last few posts of mine....I have to be careful with WORDS! Ha!... :bomb_ie: )

I know writing is not your favorite thing to do....so it was VERY kind of you to spend so much time, expressing how all of us feel sometimes...."They are LYING"! :sarcastic:

Being from Chicago...."I have been there".....:fakenopic:
-And I'm NOT going BACK! LOL! :yucky:

Warm&CozyCat :bunny:

PS...I REALLY like these new Smilies!! :furby7ue:
- Thanks, you OGFers for giving us more! xx :thanks:

Earth Juice John Old Coote
January 9th, 2007, 08:53 AM
HA HA HA :bigemo_harabe_net-163:
U bet ya we r ready for more Except I don't use a shovel! I use a John Deer.
I'm Glade u enjoyed this one
Cabin feaver is getting to me LOL

Old ejj/old coote :bigemo_harabe_net-163:

ndeep
January 9th, 2007, 09:10 AM
:bigemo_harabe_net-163: Thank you soooooooo much! That is one hilarious post!! Best thing I've read on here this year :bigemo_harabe_net-179: !! And THEN some.........So....didja ever get that wood stove??? :blink:

Earth Juice John Old Coote
January 9th, 2007, 10:35 AM
:bigemo_harabe_net-163:
3 smokers with propane burners 2 bbqer's an a still in the barn ( antifreeze when we hit 18* tomorrow)
Blankets Blankets water FOOD FOOD FOOOD And did I mention the still to keep my feet warm during the 18* temptures :bigemo_harabe_net-163:
I got to go My meds are deffently kicking IN
:thumbsup_anim:
Old ejj/old coot :smiliz27: :bigemo_harabe_net-163:

ndeep
January 9th, 2007, 11:02 AM
:lol: <span style="color:#0000ff">No No NO, not propane burners......those are for, well, when you run out of WOOD.......like a fireplace or a stove.....that burns WOOD, that you get to chop after you find the trees you can cut, then cut them into lengths....18" are good :sarcastic: ........or pay tons of money and buy some. Wow, you have cabin fever...and no WOOD? The poppin' cracklin' getcha warm WOOD....good thing MY meds are still working... :yahoo: or posting this would have worn me out :wacko: </span>